


Hallucinations

by kovicwashere



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Butterflies, Confessions, Dreams, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hallucinations, Idiots in Love, Internal Conflict, M/M, Minecraft, Mutual Pining, Online Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Swearing, i think crash my car by coin fits this well, not the best at tagging, patches - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kovicwashere/pseuds/kovicwashere
Summary: If you stay awake long enough, you can have auditory and visual hallucinations.It was his first hallucination that brought light to the burning in his chest Clay never knew well, the one that made his heart skip each time George spoke like that, laughed like that. If this hallucination sparks spiraling thoughts, there isn't much opportunity to ignore them. Both wanting to and having to talk with him, it's inevitable he faces his problem.He's in love with George.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 5





	Hallucinations

The screen across from him lay still, it’s only animation being when someone in their call talked, making their photo get encircled with green. He sighed, leaning all the way back into his squeaky chair, his microphone not picking it up.

It had been a whole two days since he last slept, this call being the only thing stopping him from slipping out of consciousness right there and then. The other two boys in the call were chatting with absurd energy, making Clay’s head throb.

“Will you two shut the hell up? How do you even have so much energy, Sapnap?” he asked, asking the last sentence after a pause. The other two quieted when he finished speaking. When he spoke, it was in a hostile tone, he was obviously in a bad spirit.

For George, it was normal to be this energetic, he had failed on their first night trying to stay up so he shouldn’t have any problem getting energy healthily through sleep. But, Sapnap had supposedly stayed up just as long as the drastically moodier blond. It was starting to bother him how okay the other was.

Even George was normally quieter than this, he was just entertaining his stream. What Clay had expected was Sapnap to be doing worse than him at controlling a temper, he was usually the one with the most bark in this group, constantly throwing insults instead of actually contributing to the conversation.

To explain the lack of sleep, the three had all originally been betting against each other. The challenge was suggested by a donation, to see who could stay up the longest at a time.

Each claimed themselves as the best.

_“That’s easy, I’d win. I stay up for like, days at a time,” Clay said, voice confident, like he was sure he was right. You could almost hear Sapnap’s eye roll._

_“Yeah right, we both know I would stay up longer, Dream.”_

_“I literally stayed up for four days straight once, I would last the longest,” George added, punching their characters._

George had lost on the first night, probably because he was already lacking sleep the few days before they started. Sapnap and Clay hadn’t lost yet, both now running on energy drinks or coffee. It didn’t matter, caffeine was caffeine. Both idiots refused to forfeit because their pride was too strong.

Whoever won got two hundred dollars, each having put in one hundred. After George lost on the first night, he wanted to withdraw his money but Sapnap insisted otherwise until he just gave up and let them continue this pitiful challenge.

Sapnap didn’t hesitate in his reply to Clay’s question, using his normal sarcasm, easily testing Clay’s patience. “Easy, Dream, I’m nineteen. That’s like… prime age for staying up to waste time.” Clay scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Old people like you and George need their precious nine hours.”

“I’m not old!” both Clay and George replied. Sapnap began cackling, sounding distant as he assumedly ripped off his headset to avoid their loud protesting to follow his claim.

Although he was shouting with evident anger, Clay had a light smile on his face. Still, he was tired. His eyes stung with yearning every time he blinked, begging to stay closed for just another moment, but he kept awake.

It wasn’t that he wanted the money, he honestly didn’t care about it. He would’ve done this with no reward. The only real reasons he was still going were for content, to actually see how long he could go, and to rub it in Sapnap’s face for the rest of time. Both made bold claims about winning, he’d love mocking Sapnap’s after winning.

Sapnap had left to go to the bathroom, they had sat in the call silently until George spoke up. “Hey Dream?” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell Sapnap, but I think you’re going to win.”

He smiled wide at that. Privately telling him that was different from saying it in front of Sapnap. His heart felt like it was constricting itself, damaging his memory of needing to breathe. He lifted a hand to his side, gripping the shirt tightly while his face took on a blush. Black screen on his other monitor, he looked over and saw his embarrassed state, getting even more flustered. In front of George’s entire stream audience, too. He quickly composed himself, clearing his throat and steeling his face over pointlessly, the smile hanging on despite his efforts.

“T-Thanks, George. Don’t tell, guys.” George laughed lightly, sending a pang of fluttering ricocheting in Clay’s stomach. He could imagine George’s small smile, still a little focused on the game, building some structure in creative mode.

“Yeah, chat, don’t tell,” George said, chuckle breaking the smoothness of that last word. Pity.

Sapnap was back. “Don’t tell who what?” he said, tone much louder than the interaction Clay and George had just had. Clay was reminded to watch himself in front of the stream.

“Nothing, nothing,” he replied, voice dripping with tiredness again. He cracked open another Red Bull, drinking a few gulps before setting it to the side, hands still wet from the cold can. It was the only still remotely cold can on that side of the desk, the five others being empty and room temperature. Small splotches of the wetness from the cans pooled around the circles they stand on.

Sapnap did a suspicious hum in agreement, otherwise dropping the topic.

“Did you guys know you could have hallucinations after three days of not sleeping? It says here they could be auditory or visual. Imagine having a hallucination of like, a creeper, or something,” said George.

George imitated a creeper's hissing, Sapnap laughing and saying an ‘aw man’. Clay laughed too, still slightly intrigued by the topic, but letting it slip nonetheless. Hardly any chance of it happening anyway, right?

They talked for a little longer, eventually stopping conversation when Clay’s words kept getting mixed up, very clearly dysfunctioning from lack of sleep. It made George laugh a few times, at the least.

“Alright I’ll see you guys tomorrow, hopefully Clay’s oldness kicks in and he, I don’t fucking know, falls asleep in his rocking chair tonight,” Sapnap said, George giggling at his joke. Clay sighed in disappointment, leaving Minecraft and opening the window to Discord.

“Yeah, yeah,” Clay said, still ill-tempered. “ _Can’t even come up with another joke,_ ” he whispered, Sapnap immediately rising to defend himself, unfortunately being cut off by Clay leaving the call.

Before completely abandoning both of them for the night, he went to George’s private messages and wrote out, goodnight, not waiting for a response.

He opened Spotify, resuming the cycle of repeating one song, opening his phone to Twitter, logging into the fanart account this time.

There was a long night ahead, but he kept his eyes open anyway, Red Bull tight in his grip the majority of the dark hours.

The sun streamed through his useless blinds unevenly. Patches stood at his feet, meowing for attention like she wasn’t one ounce guilty for the ruined blinds. He bent down and pet her behind the ears anyway, the cat hopping onto its hind legs to chase more petting.

The walk into the kitchen was more of a shuffle, legs stiff from sitting in the chair all night. If he was tired before, he must’ve already been slightly asleep now. Every time he leaned over on the counter and rested his head in his hands, his mind immediately tried convincing him to just fall asleep, standing in the kitchen.

For breakfast, he went to make scrambled eggs, also popping some toast. While making the eggs, he accidentally burned himself, the throbbing pain letting him finally adjust to his senses. He opened his eyes a bit wider, reminding himself of possible bragging rights, although probably not even worth it after this night.

His phone buzzed a few times on the counter, rushing his movements as he slid the eggs out of the pan and onto a plate. They sizzled with heat. When he placed the pan in the sink and ran the tap water on his hands, the pan underneath hissed as the cold water met its hot surface.

He quickly grabbed a fork and knife, silver cold against his warm skin. He slid smoothly onto the chair, feeling more comfortable with stretched legs. His hand still searing with numbing pain, he picked up the phone with his other hand, reading the message when his face ID unlocked the preview.

 _You win_ , Sapnap had texted him. A simple message

A grin found itself forming on his face, eventually forming into a very cheeky smile.

 _I fucking told you_ , he wrote back. For a moment, typing bubbles appeared and disappeared, the smirk on Clay’s tired face growing smugger and smugger. He’d got his bragging rights. And sleeping rights. As much as he wanted to fall asleep now though, it would be best to fall asleep at a more nightly time. Preferably one that wasn’t only a bit after sunrise.

So, for a few more hours, he had to stay up. Even after he’d won, Sapnap found a way to create problems in second place. Seriously, he couldn’t send a quick message before he fell asleep?

Instead of sitting in the kitchen to eat, he brought his plate back to his bedroom. Mind soaring with the rush of victory and an unconscious smile on his face, he felt a bit more lively in this sleep-needing state than he had yesterday. His mood was having one of its rare positive moments, uncommon during times of sleep deprivation.

The plate clinked as it met his desk. He pushed his keyboard forward, making spare room for the plate to safely sit further from the edge of the table. Knowing how tired he was, leaving anything fragile in a breakable spot would end badly.

When he turned on the computer, it hummed for a moment before it went primarily silent. His quiet clicking on the mouse was hardly heard as he navigated the warm pixels, searching for ideas of what to do that day.

George was already online, being five hours ahead and all. Their latest messages sat on his screen, unmoving as he thought of what he would even type out.

Somewhat surprising, even in the midst of his late-night grouchiness, he was still able to send a farewell message privately to George. _goodnight_ , he had written the few hours before. It was staring back at him pitifully. He must’ve been spent if he managed to text George so dryly. George’s reply was as alive as usual, though. He must’ve understood.

 _Goodnight :)_ , he’d written back, left unseen until just now. Most likely ignored because Clay had activated his do not disturb function, already annoyed with Sapnap because of their stupid bet and not wanting any more interaction for the night. Discord messages had been muted the past few hours. A shame, really, but in the end, he was glad for some alone time.

He quickly collected his thoughts and stopped analyzing their previous messages. Quickly thinking of a plain greeting, his fingers were now dashing across the keyboard, breakfast left half-uneaten and growing colder on the side. It could always be cleaned up later, anyway.

All he’d written was a simple hello with a smiley face.

The bottom right corner on his taskbar told him it was now 7:23 AM, an absurd time for him to be normally awake. Most of his close friends would have probably still been sleeping at this time, rendering him alone for the time being.

A few hours later, more were gradually getting online. On the SMP, he was in the nether, mining for netherite. As one would assume, after hours of endless mining, he had some success. It was a tedious process, but he wasn’t feared for laying around on the server all the time. He’d have to make an appearance on Tommy’s streamer later, he was using some time to get those resources he needed for later.

Third full day being awake, it would’ve been a celebratory thing if he wasn’t trying to keep staying awake. He groaned and rubbed his eyes once more. It felt like his eyes were constantly begging to cry, sometimes getting so watery from staying open that a genuine tear rolled down his cheek, he would only scoff at it.

It was getting more and more difficult with each minute to stay awake, to focus on the game. He was determined to stay conscious though, he would regret it when his sleep schedule was flipped if he didn’t. With each blink, it got harder and harder to open his eyes. He needed something other than sheer willpower.

_Alright, another Red Bull it is._

The now warmer drink ran down his throat, bringing him to the realization of how dry it had actually been. He drank the entire can, sliding it on the desk and over to the growing cluster of other empty ones. It couldn’t be good to drink this many in such a short span of time. He smiled at the array of drinks, shaking his head in disappointment.

His speaker let out a small noise in the middle of his quiet silence, sending him up from the slouch in his chair. A Discord notification of a random link from the group chat containing Sapnap, George, and him. Now that he actually went in it, he noticed the other two sitting in a call. He sat up, clearing his throat quickly to try and have his voice resemble anything but his weak, tired state.

The sound of him joining the call interrupted their conversation, both pausing their loud bickering.

“Dream!” George exclaimed happily. “I would’ve thought you were asleep, you’re still staying up?” he said. Clay smiled softly, trying to blissfully ignore Sapnap’s obnoxious teasing.

“No, I’m trying to stay awake until tonight so I can try and even out my schedule.”

“Damn, you seem really excited to see Dream, George,” Sapnap said. He stifled it for less than two seconds before laughing at both of their silences. Clay was angrily trying to get rid of the blush covering his face. Listening to George choke back his own laughter was not helping, either.

“You are,” he said, straining to keep an even tone, “an absolute _idiot._ ” His accented voice quivered.

Sapnap was still laughing. Eventually, Clay broke into his own quiet laughter, desperately hoping his mic wouldn’t pick it up. It obviously did, George trying to ease his laughter out as quietly as possible too, not wanting to give Sapnap the satisfaction.

Still blushing, Clay cleared his throat, “I’m _too_ tired to deal with this right now,” he said, immediately giving himself ideas at the word “tired”.

“Speaking of, aren’t _you_ much more energetic, Sapnap, did you sleep well?” He smirked, hearing Sapnap’s annoyed groan of realization.

“Actually, a little birdie told me you _lost_ that bet you claimed you would _win!_ The one about _staying awake_ the longest!” His smile didn’t falter as Sapnap went to defend himself. He went on his other monitor, navigating to George’s stream. The chat was flashing by but he didn’t pay attention, instead letting his gaze rest on George’s smile.

“Oh, shut up, you sore winner!” Sapnap yelled, George giggling in the background of his headsets output.

Now there were those needy butterflies, swarming around in the pit of his stomach, putting a warm smile on his face as his cheeks gradually turned a deep scarlet. For a moment, he let himself get lost in that pit of butterflies, so many flapping their wings around nauseatingly to the sound of George’s laughing. Snapping himself back out of it, more of Sapnap’s voice filled the call instead.

 _That’s right_ , he thought, _I’m still in a conversation._ They could wait though.

While they kept talking, Clay muted himself, pushing his chair back and leaning into its soft cushion. He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. Plagued with tiredness, his eyes flickered with annoyance across the bright room, suddenly wishing he’d gotten around to replacing those blinds. Patches knocked something over in the other room, adding to his quickly dampening mood.

Something moving in the corner of his eyes caught his attention. He quickly put down the headphones and stood up, walking towards the door and out to where he saw it. It couldn’t be Patches, she was fooling around in the other room.

He quickly let out his breath as he saw it, no air residing in his lungs for a brief while.

It was George, standing in front of him, devilish smirk looking up at him. He was short. A blush rapidly covered the taller one’s face as George reached out to his shoulder. The touch felt real as he kept staring intently at the boy in front of him.

Everything slowed, his eyes relaxing somehow, even in the bright light. Nothing but this moment filled his thoughts, breathing slowed, pulse quickening despite it. The room he just walked out of suddenly didn’t exist, nothing but this hallway did. No one else, nothing else.

Clay reached out, grabbing the suddenly-appearing George’s hand, tracing his fingers against what seemed sharp-edged knuckles above slender fingers.

It could’ve been the cloudiness in his brain from sleep deprivation, it could’ve been the touch starve of quarantine, it could’ve been anything, but what happened, happened all the same. His hand made its way to George’s jaw, cradling it with his palm.

The second their eyes met, he couldn’t resist the compelling urge to lean in.

It was slow, very tiny whispers in the back of his head almost coaxing him back each second that passed. Eyes hooded, either with begging for sleep or about to manually close for what was anticipated, he was molecules away from touching their noses when Patches meowed loudly behind him in the hall.

He jumped, immediately turning around to the cat, his ‘clear’ thinking coming back to him now. There couldn’t be a brighter shade of red covering his face. His heart pounded as he realized what just happened and let it sink in. Fingers fiddled with his sleeve, trying to fidget and calm his heart.

He’d had a hallucination, just like George suggested he might. Although, admittedly, he probably wasn’t thinking Clay would have one like that.

His heart still thrashed in his chest with angry ferocity, his mind flooded with intense confusion and embarrassment. Beyond all, he expected that the slim chance he would have a hallucination, it would be only a scary one, not anything like that.

His hand tightened its grip as he remembered how real it all felt, how not one spare thought considered it was fake.

But, if it all felt so real, why was there hardly any hesitation in his actions? He decided he was fed up with this, that he had still been awake for three days straight, and that was too much thinking for a person who had to stay awake after that stunt his mind pulled.

As he sat back down in his chair, he remembered he was still on call with Sapnap and George. Panicked, his jittery hands managed to attach the headphones on his ears again. The two were talking quietly, seemingly bored, George sometimes reading out donations from his stream like, ‘ _What color should I dye my hair?_ ’ or, ‘ _Can you say hi to me?_ ’. Infamously, his donations were boring to witness, probably worse to receive.

After taking a beat to wipe his hands and clear his throat, he figured he’d got himself back in the right headspace to talk in front of the audience again. Unmuting, he heard Sapnap stop talking and quickly click back to check his Discord tab.

“Oh thank god, you’re back. I thought you, like, died or something!” he exclaimed. Clay winced, turning his volume down. George hummed thoughtfully in agreement, voice quiet, like he was focused on something else. His stream showed him fighting a wither skeleton, presumably speedrunning in the nether.

Hearing George just _hum_ sent his thinking back to the hallucination, what he’d just caught himself from doing in the hallway right outside his door. As his mind raced, he let out a huff of air, still not wanting to confront himself about it, not yet. For everyone in this call's sake, thousands upon thousands were listening to him while George streamed, he needed to act casual for just a little more. Even if George’s hum was threatening to drive him crazy as it sent shivers down his back.

By now, they might be suspicious if he stayed quiet any longer.

“Yeah, sorry. Left to do something and got caught up in it.” Elbow on the desk, he rubbed his neck, waiting to see if they believed his faux excuse. With a breath of relief, he heard George do his hum again while Sapnap’s loud keyboard kept clacking, George starting to complain about some game mechanic he didn’t like.

He took a deep breath and let himself indulge in their stupid conversation, agreeing absentmindedly with George as he continued ranting, parts of his mind still trained on his hallucination from before.

Occupied with his questionable thoughts, he hardly participated in their conversation, practically still muted. A racing mind can’t be that entertaining to a live, he learned.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Hope you enjoyed it so far, I'm not as skilled at this as some are. I just have a few prefaces before you either continue reading or not, it all depends if you find this when there are more chapters or not. Please leave feedback, good or bad. :]
> 
> One, I'm relatively new to ao3. I'm no veteran, but I am trying, I took a bit to figure out how its works. That being said, I'm still not too familiar, things like tags or format might be a bit scuffed. I try to make sure it isn't.
> 
> Two, I'm not very punctual with uploading schedules or anything like that. On my Twitter, I might notify once a new chapter is posted or being worked on, but that's the closest to an actual schedule you might get, sorry to disappoint if I have. I'm currently working on having a few chapters prewritten to make sure I can go back and ensure it flows smoothly before posting anything. 
> 
> Three, please don't notify anyone in this story about it. I doubt it'll get that big, but I honestly can't be too sure, you know? Also, I will be posting on Wattpad as well. (This used to say I wasn't posting elsewhere but I changed my mind)
> 
> Thanks, there probably won't be lengthy notes from now on, let me know what you're predicting if you stuck around. I'm excited to share this!
> 
> Twitter - kovicwasheretwt


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